Conflict transformation: A spiritual imperative

Conflict happens. As much as we might want to believe it doesn’t or that it will go away if left alone, the reality is that it’s there and often gets worse before it gets better. But it doesn’t have to be destructive and can, in fact, be a catalyst for growth, healing and deeper faith. Conflict transformation has the potential to reshape the fabric of our communities.

Transforming conflict should be viewed as a spiritual calling. In Matthew 5:9, Jesus calls us to be peacemakers, and, like any other calling, it doesn’t mean it will be effortless. Just as we must learn to do everything else in our lives that we think is significant, we also must learn how to transform our conflicts. It takes time, and it takes practice. In my earlier restorative justice work with Mennonite Central Committee, I sometimes received calls from churches asking for assistance with various types of conflict within their congregations. They often thought it would take just a couple of sessions together. Generally, the process involved at least six months of working together. We recognized that, by the time they were calling us in as facilitators, things were likely at the “this is bad” point. We knew it would take multiple conversations to develop a process that could effectively transform the conflict. Conflict transformation is not a magical solution. It is a commitment to difficult work.

Does this mean it will always turn out perfectly? We know we are called to live at peace with others, as Paul writes in Romans 12:18, but there are also qualifiers, such as “if it is possible” and “as much as it depends on you.” This means we must do our part but also recognize there are reasons why it may not always be possible. Being at peace with others doesn’t mean agreeing on everything, but it can mean we can continue to be in community together – or at least wish each other well if we cannot continue to be in the same type of relationship.

As we live in faith communities together, we must continue to invite others into the process of transformation. To do that, we must also equip congregations with skills to navigate troubled waters through facilitated structured dialogue, engaging with diverse voices in respectful ways and creating dialogue circles. We can normalize difficult conversations by reminding ourselves that the goal is not necessarily agreement but creating a space of understanding and by loving one another through the difficulty.

Resources are available through our recent Learn, Pray, Join initiative, Conflict Transformation. We also plan to provide conflict transformation training courses that can be held regionally to equip churches with useful tools and restorative practices grounded in scripture as a foundation, not a weapon. We are grateful that Village Church, Beaverton, Oregon, will be hosting our first regional training Nov. 6-8. We look forward to our West Coast friends joining us. Learn more and register today: https://emu.edu/seminary/shalom/conflict-transformation.

We are hopeful that our churches are a place where people feel safe to speak and be heard, as we seek to build communities of care that Jesus calls us to live in with one another.