Rachel Ringenberg Miller provides tips for growing intergenerational congregational connections.
Rachel Ringenberg Miller serves as denominational minister for ministerial leadership for Mennonite Church USA. She focuses on engaging conferences and congregations, providing resources and services to meet the diverse demands facing congregations today. She graduated from Goshen (Indiana) College and Eastern Mennonite Seminary, in Harrisonburg, Virginia, with an MDiv. She served as associate pastor for Portland (Oregon) Mennonite Church and as pastor of Shalom Mennonite Church in Newton, Kansas. Rachel attends Eighth Street Mennonite Church in Goshen, Indiana, a Central District Conference congregation.
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A woman pulled me aside after worship on a Sunday morning and said, “They said they were never coming back.” I had just been in another conversation with another congregant, and I needed more context. It was Sunday morning after a worship service, after all, the time when pastors have a week’s worth of conversations with a dozen or more folks in two- to three-minute increments. I looked back at her and said, “Can you say more? I don’t know who you are talking about.” The story came tumbling out. A couple in their 60s had come to the church for the first time and had told the woman I was speaking with that they would never return to the church again. The reason? The children of the congregation were noisy. I was honestly surprised. I’d spent my pastoral career assuring parents of young children that their children’s chattering and movements during the worship service were welcomed. Luckily, the woman from my congregation was right there with me. While she was disappointed to hear this couple would not be coming back, she also felt the noise of the children wasn’t a distraction. She loved that the congregation had a section in the back of the sanctuary with rocking chairs, toys, books, and space for kids to crawl.
I share this story as a starting point for considering what it means to be a church that welcomes all ages to worship. All ages contribute to the buzzing hum of a worship service. Intergenerational worship is more than just tolerating noise or providing a “kids’ corner.” It’s an intentional practice that shapes a congregation’s identity and discipleship. Intergenerational worship invites people of every age to participate — not as an audience to a performance but as a community encountering God together.
At its core, intergenerational worship is about shared experience. It’s not a “children’s service” tacked onto an adult agenda, nor is it a silent expectation that kids will mimic adult behaviors. Instead, it’s a way of weaving generations together so that grandparents, young adults, teens, and toddlers each find a place and a voice. Therefore, it’s a helpful practice to consider how each generation is invited into the worship experience. For example, how often do youth participate in worship services? How is the wisdom of older adults passed on to the congregation? Does the worship allow for adults caring for their children and parents to find ways to fully participate in worship? In my experience, when generations regularly worship together, young people develop a deeper, more lasting faith, and older members experience renewed vitality and purpose.
In my office, I have a bowling trophy. I’m not a great bowler, but on the night of the yearly competition between my high school youth group and the older adults of the congregation, the stars aligned, and I had the winning score. I keep it with me, because it reminds me of Carl, whom I got to know on the night in 1997 when I won the trophy. After that night, Carl and I would have conversations at church, and later, he would encourage me and ask me questions about my seminary experience. This is what happens when congregations provide spaces for intergenerational interaction: lasting relationships are formed, and faith is deepened.
Here are some tips to grow your intergenerational congregational connections.
- Ask yourself, who participates in worship and why? What ages are involved? How can the worship service be inclusive to all ages?
- Reflect on current practices of worship. Why do you do them? Who is it for? What do you hope happens during these times?
- Consider a welcoming statement to parents with small children.
- Be intentional in creating space for intergenerational engagement.
- Consider music selections that blend familiar hymns with songs accessible to younger voices.
- Brief, interactive teaching moments or visuals that engage multiple learning styles.
The views and opinions expressed in this blog belong to the author and are not intended to represent the views of the MC USA Executive Board or staff.