For spiritual director Ruth Johnston, contemplation is easier than action. In this blog post, she shares how her friend and spiritual director helped her put her contemplative writing into action.
Ruth Johnston is ordained for ministry in Mennonite Church USA. She spent 26 years providing ministry within various healthcare organizations. Currently she is a spiritual director, pastoral caregiver and wellbeing specialist. She lives with her husband, teen-aged son and cat in southeast Iowa, where she attends First Mennonite Church in Iowa City (Iowa).
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Some years ago, I was working as a hospital chaplain, when I began to feel a bit stuck, spiritually stuck.
I’d enjoyed a deep spiritual life, which occasionally included moments of “thin places,” in which a new perspective or unexpected clarity came to me unbidden. I’d had the felt experience of God’s deep unspeakable love for me, and therefore for everyone, which became the basis of my chaplaincy work. I’d become theologically educated and had gone through the processes of becoming ordained in the church and board certified as a chaplain. But now, some years into that work, I wasn’t sure what was next. I didn’t believe there was any end to how deep the spiritual life could be, yet I seemed to have come to an impasse. At that time, there was one creative outlet I’d recently found, which was writing poetry and essays. But these were for my own enjoyment only.
I went to talk with a trusted friend, my work supervisor at the time, and spiritual director. I told him that I was feeling spiritually stuck. Was there more spiritual road to walk? How could I find that path? As he listened to my experiences and dilemma, he challenged me to focus more on new action and risk. He honed in on my new creative outlet, writing, and on my “growing edge,” my risk-aversion. He challenged me to connect with a writer more advanced than I was, to hear her journey and her thoughts, and to let my creativity begin to have a place, a voice, in the world.
I have the temperament of a person who can sit and think about things for hours, days, weeks on end, without ever taking action. I’ve heard that, spiritually, two things must go together, contemplation and action. For me, the contemplation is easier than the action. For many others, it is the other way around. In fact, in our current society I would assert that action far outweighs contemplation, and many of us are moving at high speed with too little assessment of the actions we take. Yet, for me, it can be easier to think, feel and generate a number of options, than to act.
I took my friend’s advice and contacted a published poet in a nearby city. We had a good conversation. I found that she also taught classes at a nearby literary center, and I was able to take two writing classes from her.
I’ve had a few poems and essays published. And now I am quick to send out work I think has merit. My habit of holding my creative work close to the chest has changed into a desire to put it out for others’ use.
Perhaps most importantly, the challenge to apply action to my inner world and spiritual gifts has not been lost on me. I learned from that moment with my friend, when he kindly touched the pulse of one of my weaknesses and challenged me to strengthen it.
My belief is that God wants to use me and my gifts, and that can only happen if I am willing to share them generously.
I also learned that when I feel stuck, taking that one step toward action helps unstick me. It may or may not lead to the path I’m seeking, but it always gives me more information. If I step in a direction that doesn’t fit, I soon realize it, and this helps me discern the right direction. Life with God is about continually being open to growth, good risks and new paths.
Learn more about the Mennonite Spiritual Directors Network at mennosdn.org.
You can find links to the Spiritual Directors Network website and other congregational and ministerial resources on MC USA’s Church Vitality webpage: https://www.mennoniteusa.org/
The views and opinions expressed in this blog belong to the author and are not intended to represent the views of the MC USA Executive Board or staff.