Spiritual director Sherah-Leigh Gerber reflects on how Jacob’s time wrestling with God in Genesis reminds her of staying present in discomfort.
Sherah-Leigh Gerber is an ordained minister in MC USA, as well as a writer and spiritual director, offering both online (shergerber.com) and in-person soul care conversations. She lives with her husband and two middle school age children in northeast Ohio and attends Oak Grove Mennonite Church, in Smithville, Ohio. She writes regularly on substack and in collaboration at somecomfortandjoy.com.
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With physical ailments, ignoring symptoms or refusing to address small issues can lead to catastrophic illness or permanent pain. Similarly, our souls can become scarred when we avoid the necessary work of the spiritual journey.
Just as regular movement and healthy habits influence our physical well-being, spiritual disciplines can assist our souls in the same way. While a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean we will never be sick, having practices that nurture our general well-being help us both recover from setbacks and embrace the realities and limits of our human form.
Of course, with soul work, it is often easy to ignore the strains and cracks. We distract ourselves with busy schedules, worthy work, even. We divert our thoughts with the onslaught of streaming content — shows, books, podcasts, music, etc. — preventing our minds from examining those places of pain.
But sooner or later the fissures expand into craters. It may be from the accumulated weight of multiple griefs; it may come from unchosen transitions or unavoidable questions about our identity. It may be the cost of serving in toxic systems or the impact of misguided theology.
The story of Jacob wrestling with God (Genesis 32:22-32) reminded me of the admonition to stay present with discomfort. There is a place for persistence. There are times when the cost of blessing is a limp.
While approaching faith with wonder and curiosity feels preferable and embracing mystery and making peace with the limits of our unknowing seems ideal, these postures must be held in tension with the truth that our places of pain cannot be ignored indefinitely. The pinch points and griefs of our lives have much to teach us.
When have you “wrestled” with God? What “limp” do you live with from your efforts at faithfulness?
A blessing for the wrestling
When you get up, go across or are sent …
When you feel alone, lost or wondering …
When you are wrestling, fighting, just barely holding on …
May you remember:
Day is breaking,
Blessing is coming,
God is speaking your name.
Learn more about the Mennonite Spiritual Directors Network at mennosdn.org.
You can find links to the Spiritual Directors Network website and other congregational and ministerial resources on MC USA’s Church Vitality webpage: https://www.mennoniteusa.org/
The views and opinions expressed in this blog belong to the author and are not intended to represent the views of the MC USA Executive Board or staff.
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